Why Sexual Health Education Needs to Start Long Before Puberty
Puberty is happening earlier than ever, but our education system hasn't caught up.
Today, girls are beginning puberty as young as 8 years old. Boys aren’t far behind at at 9 years old. Yet, most schools wait until 5th grade or later to introduce sexual health education.
By then, for many children, the changes have already started…without enough guidance, support, or preparation.
As a parent, I’ve seen firsthand how unprepared kids can feel.
When my own children went through the standard school curriculum, they came home telling me how rushed and incomplete it was. They said the only reason they understood part of it was because of the conversations we’d already had at home.
One of my children shared that a friend believed they were bleeding "from where pee comes out”...no one had explained menstruation clearly.
Imagine navigating one of the biggest changes of your young life…confused, scared, and alone.
Kids Want to Ask Questions.
But They Don’t Always Know Who Is Safe to Ask
When kids don't receive clear, ongoing education about their bodies and health, they are left to fill in the gaps themselves, often through whispers from friends, misleading online content, or silent fear.
They have questions. They are curious. They want to understand.
But too often, they don’t know who is safe to ask, or even if asking is allowed.
This silence breeds shame, fear, and misinformation. Our children deserve better.
A Glimpse of What’s Possible.
My Visit to a Private School in Costa Rica
In 2018, I had the opportunity to interview with a private school in Costa Rica. During my tour, I observed an 11th-grade sexual health education class. And what I witnessed was nothing short of remarkable.
The students were engaged.
They were asking thoughtful questions.
They were open, comfortable, and respectful.
It was a beautiful thing to witness: young people learning about their bodies, their health, and their relationships without fear or shame.
The principal explained to me that their sexual health education program is woven throughout K–12. I remember telling him, "I wish schools in the U.S. would do this."
I left the school that day feeling both hopeful for what’s possible…and heartbroken for so many children in the United States who are denied this level of support.
It’s frustrating, and frankly unacceptable, that ignorance, fear, and stigma still drive so many of the decisions made about sexual health education in this country.
We can do better. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
The Impact of Early Puberty Without Support
Research shows that early puberty, without proper support, is linked to:
Increased rates of anxiety and depression
Higher risk for risky sexual behaviors at younger ages
Poorer body image and lower self-esteem
Greater susceptibility to peer pressure and exploitation
Without strong foundations of body literacy, consent education, and emotional regulation, children face not only physical changes, but emotional and social risks they are unequipped to manage.
We Need a New Approach: Sexual Health Education as Continuing Education
One rushed, awkward class in 5th grade is not enough.
We need to approach sexual health education the same way we approach reading, math, or social skills: as continuing education…starting early, evolving every year, and building with the child.
That means:
Starting education in Kindergarten with basic lessons about body parts, boundaries, and respect.
Evolving the curriculum through elementary, middle, and high school… introducing new, developmentally appropriate topics at each stage.
Prioritizing trained sexual health educators, not outsourcing this critical teaching to physical education teachers who may not feel prepared or comfortable.
Shifting our language from "sex ed" to sexual health education, emphasizing health, respect, relationships, and empowerment.
We also need consistent, evidence-based standards across all states to ensure that every child — no matter where they live — receives accurate, inclusive, and developmentally appropriate education.
The National Sexuality Education Standards (NSES), already used by at least 17 states as of 2025, provide a clear framework for doing exactly that.
Sexual health education should be part of a holistic view of a child’s wellbeing: physical, emotional, mental, relational, and yes…sexual.
The Positive Outcomes of Getting It Right
When sexual health education starts early and continues through development, research shows powerful outcomes:
Children delay the onset of sexual activity
They are more likely to use protection when they become sexually active
They experience fewer risky behaviors and higher self-esteem
They have healthier relationships built on consent, communication, and respect
They are better equipped to protect their boundaries and seek help when needed
They gain critical skills that help prevent child sexual abuse by understanding body autonomy and safe versus unsafe touch.
They are less likely to experience dating and intimate partner violence later in life, thanks to early education about respect, boundaries, and healthy relationship dynamics.
They strengthen their social and emotional skills, such as empathy, self-awareness, and emotional regulation…key foundations for lifelong mental and relational health.
They experience a greater sense of inclusivity and belonging
Parents, We Must Advocate for Change
We cannot rely on the system to fix itself.
As parents, caregivers, educators, and advocates, we must demand better:
Comprehensive sexual health education, starting early and continuing through high school
Trained professionals teaching these critical topics
Medically accurate, developmentally appropriate curricula
Safe environments where kids can ask questions without fear, shame, or confusion
Because every child deserves to know their body is good, to understand how it works, to feel empowered to ask questions, and to navigate the world with confidence and safety.
A Final Thought
When we give children access to accurate, relevant, ongoing sexual health education, we don't take away their innocence…we protect it.
We replace fear with understanding.
We replace shame with empowerment.
We replace silence with trust.
And we equip our kids not just for puberty, but for a lifetime of health, self-respect, and thriving relationships.
It’s time to raise the bar.
It’s time to meet them where they are…not where we wish they still were.
Because they’re ready for better.
And it’s our responsibility to make sure they get it.
Start early. Teach often. Empower always.
Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash
References:
Dehestani, N., Vijayakumar, N., Ball, G. et al. “Puberty age gap”: new method of assessing pubertal timing and its association with mental health problems. Mol Psychiatry 29, 221–228 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41380-023-02316-4
Goldfarb, E. S., & Lieberman, L. D. (2021). Three decades of research: The case for comprehensive sex education. Journal of Adolescent Health, 68(1), 13–27. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2020.07.036
Kirby, D. B. (2007). Emerging answers 2007: Research findings on programs to reduce teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. https://thenationalcampaign.org/resource/emerging-answers-2007
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Negriff, S., Blankson, A. N., & Trickett, P. K. (2015). Pubertal timing and peer influence: Effects on externalizing and internalizing behaviors across adolescence. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 44(5), 915–927. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-014-0178-9
Tian, Y., Liu, J., Xie, Q., & Ma, J. (2024). Early puberty: A review on its role as a risk factor for metabolic and mental disorders. Frontiers in Pediatrics, 12, Article 1326864. https://doi.org/10.3389/fped.2024.1326864
UNESCO. (2018). International technical guidance on sexuality education: An evidence-informed approach. United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization. https://unesdoc.unesco.org/ark:/48223/pf0000260770
World Health Organization. (2023). Comprehensive sexuality education: Key questions and answers (2nd ed.). https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/9789240072829
