Nature is Queer Too: What It Teaches Us About Sexual Diversity

When we think about same-sex relationships or expressions of sexual identity, we tend to focus on human experiences…how culture, religion, or society shape our understanding of what’s considered “normal.” 

But if we zoom out for a moment and look at the natural world, a very different story begins to emerge.

It turns out that humans aren’t the only ones with complex emotional bonds or diverse expressions of intimacy. 

Scientists have observed same-sex behavior in hundreds of species, and the number keeps growing as we study animal behavior more closely.

And we’re not just talking about random or isolated incidents. These behaviors show up in social systems across species - in birds, mammals, insects, fish, and even reptiles. 

They often play an important role in how animals bond, express affection, manage conflict, or care for their young.

A 2023 phylogenetic study found that same-sex behavior occurs in roughly 5% of mammalian species and more than 50% of mammalian families, particularly among social animals like primates and dolphins. 

Researchers concluded this behavior evolved independently across different lineages as a way to build alliances and reduce conflict.

So what does that mean for how we think about sexuality, relationships, and what’s “natural”?

Let’s explore.

A Pattern Across the Animal Kingdom

One of the most well-known examples comes from a pair of male penguins at the Central Park Zoo named Roy and Silo. These two formed a bond, built a nest together, and were given an egg to raise by zookeepers. They successfully hatched and cared for the chick as a pair, just like any heterosexual penguin couple would.

Same-sex penguin pairings have been observed in zoos and in the wild across the globe. Some last a season, others span years. And they’re not alone.

Male bottlenose dolphins often form tight, affectionate bonds that include sexual behavior like genital stimulation, rubbing, and synchronized swimming. These partnerships can last for years and help build strong social alliances.

Research shows that these bonds are key to dolphin social structure and survival.

Giraffes have been observed showing a high rate of same-sex behavior. 

In fact, studies have shown that male-male interactions are more common than male-female ones.

These interactions aren’t just casual; they involve extended courtship behaviors…rubbing necks, nuzzling, and mounting…suggesting these encounters are not just sexual, they’re deeply social.

Bonobos and the Role of Pleasure

Let’s talk about bonobos, one of our closest primate relatives. These great apes share over 98% of our DNA and are incredibly social and are often described as peaceful, cooperative, and affectionate.

One of the key ways they maintain social harmony is through sex.

Bonobos use sex not just for reproduction. They use it to reduce tension, resolve conflicts, express affection, reconcile after conflict, and create bonds.

And these interactions happen between all sexes and ages.

Female bonobos especially form strong, lasting friendships through genital-to-genital rubbing.

What bonobos teach us is that sex is about more than just reproduction.

It’s a powerful way to connect, to regulate emotion, to experience pleasure, and to maintain peace in a community.

Sound familiar?

Let’s Talk About the Science

So why haven’t we heard more about this?

Why do so many people still believe same-sex behavior is unnatural?

Part of the answer lies in how scientific observations are reported…or not reported.

A 2024 meta-analysis looked at over 65 studies and found that 77% of experts had observed same-sex sexual behavior in animals, but less than 20% had ever published those observations. 

This gap points to longstanding bias and discomfort in the scientific community around documenting what doesn’t fit into heteronormative frameworks.

Even now, new behaviors continue to be documented. In 2022, researchers photographed male humpback whales engaging in penetrative sex for the first time.

This is further evidence that these behaviors are neither rare nor random. 

The truth is, same-sex behavior is part of the natural world.

What This Means for Us

We often hear people claim that being gay, queer, or trans is unnatural. But nature itself tells a different story.

It shows us that diversity is the norm, not the exception.

For LGBTQ+ individuals, this has powerful implications. 

It’s one thing to seek social acceptance; it’s another to recognize that your identity is reflected in the living world all around you. 

You are not an outlier. You are part of nature’s design.

When we look at animals, we see that sexual diversity serves important functions…forming alliances, navigating social hierarchies, and building emotional bonds.

These aren’t “glitches.” They are adaptations.

Same-sex behavior doesn’t make animals less functional. In many cases, it makes them more connected, more peaceful, and better able to thrive in social groups.

The Truth Nature Tells Us

This isn’t about comparing humans to animals. It’s about learning from the world we’re part of.

When we open our eyes to the patterns and behaviors that exist across species, we start to see just how wide the spectrum of connection really is.

We remember that pleasure, partnership, and love are deeply natural, and that they show up in many forms.

So the next time someone calls something “unnatural,” take a moment to think about penguins raising a chick together, bonobos easing tension through sexual connection, or dolphins swimming in bonded pairs.

Nature has always been diverse. It's time we caught up.

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As a therapist and coach who works with LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, I know how hard it can be to embrace your identity when faced with fear, shame, or disapproval.

You don’t have to navigate it alone.

If you're ready to move through internal or relational obstacles with clarity and support, I invite you to schedule a consultation.

And if this article sparked something for you, feel free to share it with someone who might find it meaningful too.

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Sources and Suggested Reading:

Anderson, K.A., Teichroeb, J.A., Ramsay, M.S., Bădescu, L., López-Torres, S., Gibb, J.K. Same-sex sexual behaviour among mammals is widely observed, yet seldomly reported: Evidence from an online expert survey. 2024. PLOS One

Bagemihl, B. Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity. St. Martin’s Press. 1999.

Bailey, N. W., & Zuk, M. Same-sex sexual behavior and evolution. Trends in Ecology & Evolution, 2009;24(8): 439-46. 

Connor, R. C., Mann, J., Tyack, P. L., & Whitehead, H. Social evolution in toothed whales. Trends in Ecology & Evolution, 1998;13(6): 228-32. 

de Waal, F. Bonobo: The Forgotten Ape. 1997. University of California Press.

Gómez, J.M., Gónzalez-Megías, A. & Verdú, M. The evolution of same-sex sexual behaviour in mammals. Nature Communications. 2023;14: 5719.

Hohmann, G., & Fruth, B. Use and function of genital contacts among female bonobos. Animal Behaviour, 2000;60(1): 107-120. 

Sommer, V., & Vasey, P. L. (Eds.). Homosexual Behaviour in Animals: An Evolutionary Perspective. 2006. Cambridge University Press.

The New York Times. Love That Dare Not Squeak Its Name. 2004.

Yokoyama T, Furuichi T. Partner choice in genito-genital rubbing among female bonobos (Pan paniscus) is highly dependent on physical proximity. Primates. 2023;64(1): 25-33.

Image by Michael Kelso on Unsplash